Welcome To the Family

"Welcome to the family" is a phrase often heard at weddings. It's a day filled with meeting new relatives and introducing them to one another. This special occasion is marked by vows and commitments, with many in attendance to witness the event. Suddenly, you find yourself as an aunt, uncle, or in-law to new family members. The day is filled with hugs, kisses, well wishes, countless photos, and generous gifts, all making it unforgettable. On this day, you become the newest member of the family.

Some people opt for a different path than the traditional wedding. Many choose to exchange vows at a courthouse, a small chapel in Vegas, or even abroad. Whether for financial, immigration reasons, or more commonly for tax benefits, significant life events like military relocation or an impending birth often prompt couples to marry without a formal introduction to their new family.

Recently, a couple decided to marry for unique reasons. While their story might seem like a modern Romeo & Juliet, it is quite different. Though deeply in love, their decision also served as a message to their parents. When asked why, they mentioned feelings that their parents disliked them, thought they were unsuitable for their child, or were jealous. These are trivial and peculiar reasons for such a decision. My conclusion: it's immature and poorly informed.

They chose to marry, thinking no one would support them, and proceeded without informing their parents. There were no bridesmaids, groomsmen, chapel, family, wedding dress, or rings. When I asked about the absence of rings, the reply was, "we don’t wear jewelry," even as I noticed earrings on their ears. Fearing acceptance or rejection, they moved forward without consent. They never sought their parents' support, assuming the answer would be a definite no. As the old saying goes, "don’t assume; it makes a donkey’s behind out of you."

They ended up alone on their wedding day, getting married and returning home without even a dinner to celebrate. Some might say that as long as they're happy, that's all that matters. Wrong! Selfish!

They didn't consider those who loved them and could have helped create a memorable day. They had access to a church, a preacher, a caterer, a wedding coordinator, and money. These individuals weren't from lower-class backgrounds but upper-middle-class families. Many would gladly trade places with them. Yet, they assumed certain adults would disapprove of their decision. These aren't teenagers but young adults in their mid-twenties living just a few miles from home. What's the issue? It's hard to pinpoint. Immaturity is at play here.

What would lead a young woman to forgo her dream wedding? Did they not consider that those who support them also want the best for them? There are many unanswered questions only they can address. Is this a classic case of love beyond measure, or defiance at its peak? Whatever the answers, only they know, and likely, they can't articulate it themselves. In the end, they are family now. It's unfortunate to introduce family members in such a manner.

Only God knows the outcome of this marriage, and they may later realize that their actions were premature in assuming there would be no support. One day, they might have a dream wedding, or perhaps not. According to census data, today's marriages are not demonstrating strength in longevity. We hope this marriage will endure, and that their children will look back and see how blessed and loved they are because of family. Being introduced to the family isn't bad; you encounter new experiences, make adjustments, and grow by embracing new adventures.